He said "Mary is the rarest gem
And she's the wildest flower
I'll make my Mary merrier
With every passing hour"
So I made a certain sacrifice
As soon as we were through
I said "your Mary loves you lad"
And he said "Mary who?"

You don't know if an apple's rotten
Til you take a bite
You don't know if there's breakfast comin
Til you spend the nite
And I'm sure I'll kiss my share of frogs
Before my time has come
But the world is full of bastards
And I've dated every one

And the lad was oh-so-generous
Much more than you would think
He didn't have a license
But he still drove me to drink
And I had no insecurities
So he gave me some of his
But I didn't need his sorrow
Man, I'm Irish as it is!

You don't know if the beer is bitter
Til ya buy a glass
You don't know if your peace of mind
Is just a peice of ass
And I'm sure I'll kiss my share of frogs
Before my time has come
But the world is full of bastards
And I've dated every one!